BOOKS: THE NEW YORK TRILOGY

What am I reading these days? I plan to keep you up-to-date on the books I am reading. At the moment I have got the time to read and I do like a lot of different styles and genres: literature as well as non-fiction. My favorites are classics and current literature, especially modern American literature.

OK; now I have started reading Paul Auster's "the New York Trilogy", which was publicized in 1987 as a collective of three experimental detective stories: City of Glass (1985), Ghosts (1986) and The locked room (1986). I have not finished it yet, but I can already say that these are not conventional detective stories; they have a deeper meaning that go beyond finding suspects and evidence. It is called a mixture between the detective story and the "nouveau roman". And that is what it is: a detective story with a twist. I still have to get into it, but I am sure the stories will grasp me; usually I do not mistake in choosing books to read. Wikipedia has the following resume of the three stories http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_New_York_Trilogy :

City of Glass
The first story, City of Glass, features a detective-fiction writer-cum-private investigator who descends into madness as he becomes embroiled in a case. It explores layers of identity and reality, from Paul Auster the writer of the novel to the unnamed "author" who reports the events as reality to "Paul Auster the writer", a character in the story, to "Paul Auster the detective", who may or may not exist in the novel, to Peter Stillman the younger to Peter Stillman the elder and, finally, to Daniel Quinn, the protagonist.

Ghosts
The second story, Ghosts, is about a private eye called Blue who is investigating a man named Black for a client named White. Black and White turn out to be the same person, a writer who is writing a story about Blue watching him.

The Locked Room
The Locked Room is the story of a writer who lacks the creativity to produce fiction. Fanshawe, his childhood friend has produced creative work, and when he disappears the writer publishes his work and replaces him in his family. While trying to deal with their relationship, he discovers his creative gift, and it emerges that he is the author of the three stories of the trilogy. The title is a reference to a "locked room mystery", a popular form of early detective fiction.

Other interesting websites on Paul Auster:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/jun/10/paulauster
http://www.nagasaki-gaigo.ac.jp/ishikawa/amlit/a/auster21.htm

JUST A HAPPY SONG

SONNY J - I CAN'T STOP MOVING

Problems, problems. What problems ?! It is time for a happy song; this one always makes me feel good and brings a smile to my face.

REGENERATE YOUR BRAIN: MEDITATION

Sometimes you get in a few days time the same message from different sides; this is clearly a sign that you have to do something with it. Unfortunately the message never says what exactly you have to do with it: that you have to figure it out yourself. So be creative.


With me this happened over the last few days with the issue of identity. On Sunday I read an article on identities of immigration groups in the US (as part of my study of American history), on Monday I had an interview with my career coach which touched this subject and on Tuesday I had a chat over lunch with a friend of mine and it all came down to the same bottom-line: what do you want to be in life, how do you allow yourself to be what you really are and how can you achieve these insights. Tough questions which need an answer. I am not a therapist, but experienced it first hand, so maybe I have got the authority to say something about what helped me in this matter.


Some people might never ask themselves these questions. Not me. I struggled very hard with them over a very long period; in the end I decided to quit my job and make a shift. This was a very tough decision to make and sometimes I still doubt whether it was the right decision. I can not go back anymore; it would be betrayal to myself. The decision to quit my job created the much required space in my head to be creative and be spiritual; the everyday nitty-gritty of a stressful job is often such a loss of time and inspiration. The decision also created problems like loss of income, status etc., but that is a whole other story.


OK; now you have time and less stress, what to do with it ? First, there comes the issue of identity. In our world it is not important who the person IS, but what the person DOES. The system judges you on what you contribute to society and which function you have. If you do not have a job, you are seen as a mooch and an outcast and not of value. Luckily not by everyone; there are also people who have seen your struggle or understand the phase you are going through. Treasure these people, because they are a big help in making you feel strong and confident. You feel soon enough in which category the people you meet fall; it is best to limit the encounters with persons of the non-understanding category. They make you feel bad and doubt the decisions you make or the path you take.


So build a fence for self-protection, but do not shut everybody out. There is your own space and your own thinking which is now hitting you full in the face. What now and who is the real me ? Besides therapy (in my opinion always useful) personality theories, like I mentioned earlier, have helped me a lot to understand myself and others around me. The most valuable lesson was that every type of person has his own fears and challenges and that no one is better than the other. What also helped me was yoga and meditation.


I read in an article in Der Spiegel, a German news magazine http://www.spiegel.de/wissenschaft/mensch/0,1518,592597,00.html , that now scientifically has been proved that meditation helps to push back stress and even regenerates your brain by building new brain cells. The functioning of the brain has always fascinated me. In fact it is nice, that science proved that meditation actually works, but in fact I knew it already, and with me millions of people around the globe.


Meditating is not easy and I worked out for myself which type of meditation helped me best. I am not looking for a spiritual or even religious experience, but simply to feel what my deepest ME is or wants. The first trick you have to learn is to think of nothing and that is hard. Questions pop into your mind or you are still too jumpy to sit or lay on the floor. In those cases limit your time or simply postpone. What helped me was if someone guides you through meditation; you can concentrate on the voice and simply follow. Experience with meditation also helps to empty your mind.


Thinking of nothing is already relaxing; I wanted to use meditation though to get some answers. Sometimes just things pop into your head (remember them !!) or it is also useful to write down or pose yourself a specific question and then go into meditation. For me a meditation of max. 10 minutes is best (otherwise you postpone because it costs you too much time) and if no answers come into your mind: bad luck, try again. If an idea or brainwave comes up I can immediately feel if it is genuine or not. For example, the idea to start a blog also came up in meditation and although I at first instance could not see the use of starting a weblog I did it anyway and it really helps me to get things out of my head and be creative. A useful website to start: http://www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm


TIP: Picture an animal to ask your questions to and hear what the animal tells you. Because I am originally from a forest area, that animal is a deer for me. Imagining a person does not work. Last tip: do not tell anyone that an animal has given you the answers; it is really YOU and you want to keep your reputation.

IT GOES UP IN SMOKE

Today I got very irritated by the ongoing discussion in my country on the prohibition to smoke in bars and restaurants. Since the 1st of July it is not allowed to smoke in bars and restaurants, but in practice a lot of bars do allow smoking even though they are heavily fined. Earlier it has been prohibited in offices and other places where people work. I am not a smoker but why prohibit everything ?

People know that smoking is bad for their health and smokers make a conscience choice to smoke; who are we as the public, through our representatives in parliament, to tell them that they should not smoke. Paternalistic ! I want to live in a free country, where you should be free to do whatever you like as long as it does not hurt others and you don´t bring yourself in a dangerous situation unknowingly, for example children. We will die anyway; why not choose how and when to do it. But you must be willing to also accept the consequences: the medical costs directly related to smoking and a shorter life.

OK; of course there are non-smokers in the bar who are also affected by the nicotine-fumes. But you do not have to go to a bar; this is also a choice. If there was a market for non-smoke bars, these bars would have been created a long time ago.

As a jurist I studied the judicial system and came across a lot of baloney provisions. That´s why I do not see myself as a "proper" lawyer; in my opinion a system only works with basic provisions to regulate the system and sees to it that these basic provisions are observed. If you want to bring society ahead, society should have the freedom to develop itself and not be restricted by bureaucratic procedures. Anyway, we do not have enough police officers and other government staff to enforce all these regulations and nobody is willing to pay extra money. This creates irritation, inequality and is detrimental to governmental and legal authority.

Do not let the moral majority rule this country (certainly not a religious moral majority) !! I want to decide myself ; I am sensible and I know what I am doing. That´s that !!

THE AIR THAT I BREATH

AIR - ALL I NEED

One of my all-time favourite tunes; had to be included in my blog. Slow and relaxed. Excellent and stylish video. Especially the skateboard in the halfpipe on the rhythm of the music; very well done.

A QUESTION OF PERSONALITY

Time for something serious and something personal. I have spent a long time to figure out who I am. This sounds quite dramatic and maybe it is. It has cost me a lot of energy and emotions to get and to stay on the right track. Over the years I got more and more interested in personality theories, which helped me considerably to get a clearer view on things; the first one that crossed my path was the Enneagram. The Enneagram describes nine distinct personality types and their interrelationships, mapped arount an ancient symbol of perpetual motion.

At first I thought it was a kind of horoscope, in which for every sign of the zodiac was defined who you are and what the future has in store for you. And combined with the fact that its ancient roots are lying in the Sufi-tradition, I thought "Help, I am getting trapped in thoughts of some kind of illustrous sect". But the next thought was: "I am a sensible guy and I have got some brains left, so they do not get a grip on me."" Okay, a lot of thoughts, why not give it a shot.

After reading a description of the nine different personality types I was and to a certain extent I still am convinced that it still is a valuable means to start you thinking on who you are and where you fit in. But like a horoscope you can recognize yourself in almost half of the descriptions. For me two things were valuable insights: first, every person has its strengths and weaknesses, fears and hopes and although they are different no person is "better" or more "valuable" than the other and second, descriptions make you think on whether some elements are applicable to you and which are not. It sounds pretty straight forward, but I realise now that a lot of people never ask themselves these questions.

Everyone has to find out for himself which type suits one best; there are a lot of websites which you can visit on this. For example the wikipedia-site on the Enneagram gives a nice, although very short, overview of the nine types:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enneagram_of_Personality


I was in doubt whether I would be a "one" or a "four" but in the end the "four" suited me best.
Description from the wikipedia web site:

Fours

The attention of Fours goes to what is missing and desired, to loss, to emotions, to drama, and to longing for the ideal and distant — thus, the sense that the heart is broken or damaged in some way. The defensive coping strategy centers around focusing on what is missing or lost as a way of avoiding feelings related to the hope for an idealized connection that may go unfulfilled.

There is a focus on what is distant, special, and desired and an aversion to the ordinary, the mundane, and the everyday reality of what is. Major traits include a desire to feel special or unique, a concern with authenticity, a preoccupation with the search for the ideal forms of love or connection, and a wistful pleasure with melancholy. Unlike some other types, Fours tend to be comfortable with emotions and can be sensitive to the emotional tone of situations and relationships.
Strengths: Fours can be emotionally strong, authentic, artistic, and sensitive.
Challenges: Fours can be entitled, dramatic, dissatisfied in relationships, and depressed.
Ego fixation: melancholy
Holy idea: origin
Passion/Vice: envy
Virtue: equanimity (=evenness in temper)

It goes too far to give you a full-fletched psychological analysis of myself - this is the internet and I don't know what kind of loonies (no offense!) are reading my blog. Maybe in due time you can recognize this type four in the posts on my blog.

OK. That's one personality theory. The other one which crossed my path is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) which is based on the typological theories of Swiss psychologist Carl Gustav Jung.

In his theories persons are born with a certain basic personality (in my words now), which they keep their whole life; something like the color of their eyes. Based on the four distinctions between Extraversion (E) and Intraversion (I), Sensing (S) and iNtuition (N), Thinking (T) and Feeling (F), Judgment (J) and Perception (P) Myers-Briggs distinguished 16 personality types. Although the Wikipedia-site gives a good first overview of the 16 types the best website on MBTI is http://www.personalitypage.com/

Also with this theory: take the elements that help you define yourself and get to know yourself. No single person can completely fit into the discription of one type; it would be a boring world. Take what suits you, forget about the rest. And ... do not forget all the negative things; these also are part of your personality and you have to be realistic.

The INFP-type suited me best. The description on the wikipedia-website:

The polite, reserved exterior of INFPs can at first make them difficult to get to know. They enjoy conversation, however, taking particular delight in the unusual. When INFPs are in a sociable mood, their humor and charm shine through. Disposed to like people and to avoid conflict, INFPs tend to make pleasant company.

Devoted to those in their inner circle, INFPs guard the emotional well-being of others, consoling those in distress. Guided by their desire for harmony, INFPs prefer to be flexible unless their ethics are violated. Then, they become passionate advocates for their beliefs. They are often able to sway the opinions of others through tact, diplomacy, and an ability to see varying sides of an issue.

INFPs develop these insights through reflection, and they require substantial time alone to ponder and process new information. While they can be quite patient with complex material, they are generally bored by routine. Though not always organized, INFPs are meticulous about things they value. Perfectionists, they may have trouble completing a task because it cannot meet their high standards. They may even go back to a completed project after the deadline so they can improve it.

INFPs are creative types and often have a gift for language. As Introverts, they may prefer to express themselves through writing. Their dominant Feeling drives their desire to communicate, while their auxiliary iNtuition supplies the imagination. Having a talent for symbolism, they enjoy metaphors and similes. They continually seek new ideas and adapt well to change. They prefer working in an environment that values these gifts and allows them to make a positive difference in the world, according to their personal beliefs.

So, now you know me. That saves a lot of explaining and writing. You may have read that I like to express myself through writing and I think a good writer should know when to stop. I think this is now.

THE ART OF THE XX-CENTURY

In my introduction you could read that I am a lover of art, especially modern art. Everything that surprises me or starts me thinking is a source of inspiration; beautiful or ugly does not matter. At this moment only an inspiration for my mind; although I would like to find some kind of artistic outlet, I can not decide which form to choose. Wait a minute ..., a weblog is also a kind of artistic outlet !

OK. Earlier this week I went to see an exhibition with an overview on the art of the XX-century in the Gemeentemuseum (Municipal Museum) here in The Hague, mainly with works of the museum and all the big names: Van Gogh, Monet, Degas, Picasso, Mondriaan, Bacon, Stella, Warhol, Paik, Richter and so on. I had seen them all before, but if you look at them in a chronological order, you see the developments more clearly and as usual, the lay-out of the exhibition is always special at the Gemeentemuseum; by the way - the architecture of the building is very special too. To be seen !!!



The Gemeentemuseum is a museum of international standard with an outstanding collection of works of modern art (mainly first half of the 20th century). The link to the website of the museum:



http://www.gemeentemuseum.nl/index.php?id=1&langId=en



Be sure to spend some time relaxing in café Gember next to the museum with a large terrace overlooking the pond. One

of my daytime-favorites!

CALIFORNIA DREAMIN´

This is not a blog on gay issues and it will not be a blog on gay issues. But after what happened in California on proposition No.8 last week, I had to write another post on the American elections. Although gay myself I was at first instance not such a strong supporter of same-sex marriages. Not because of religious beliefs or gays should be denied the right to marry, but why do the same as the heteros; we are different and also this should be done different. That gays should be given the same civil rights as any other group in society is for me self-evident; why should it be different ?! It is totally irrelevant whether this is realized by marriage, registered partnership or simply by being able to be who you are. To say it in different words, the video below. Very strong and for everyone to remember. OK; enough USA for a while - let them sort it out themselves; we have got our own problems on this side of the Atlantic.

Keith Olbermann: Gay Marriage Is a Question of Love
http://www.gaytvblog.com/2008/11/keith-olberman.html

WILL IT CHANGE ?

As a part-time student American history it is more than logical that I would write a post on the American elections. Because they are today I have to hurry; there is not much time left.


Finally, finally, the elections have come: and we outside the US can not even vote. We can only hope that the Americans have a clear mind and do not make the same mistake for the third time after 2000 and 2004. The last years were one big inspiration for satire TV and for nothing and no-one else. So change is needed more than ever.


If you have read my other posts on the weblog you will not be surprised that I am not a big fan of McCain. As a non-religious person and a fierce opponent of the death penalty there is no reason whatsoever to vote for a conservative candidate (oh yeah... that is true, I can not vote). Conservatism can never bring change and we need change to be ready for future challenges.


But there is also not much reason to vote for Obama (if I could vote). He is a great motivational speaker, but I actually know more about his grandma and his relatives in Kenya than his views on crucial issues. What change does he want and is this the change I would have wanted ?


I did some research and read that Obama also supports the death penalty, which in my view is a cruel sentence that in no civilized country should be enforced; never. Also the current American legislation on the possession of weapons is not understandable for me. After the bloodshed on the Columbine High School and Virginia Tech one should expect measures to be taken; not in the USA - it is a right of all citizens to carry a weapon and whether kids kill whole school classes or fired employees kill their former boss and colleagues, that is not our problem. They should have bought weapons and have defended themselves ... Also no big changes by Obama here.


Then a third big ethical issue: same-sex marriage. Obama opposes same-sex marriage but says no to initiatives like proposition 8 in California. What is here the big change; it is easy to hide behind state legislation and to not take a stand. At least he is not denying a whole group of citizens their civil rights as McCain does.


Still waiting for the big change ... I suppose we have to find it in the person of Obama, certainly not in his views, although his standpoint on other issues than those mentioned above could be more revolutionary (!?). They will certainly not make him a socialist (or even a social-democrat) or a supporter of terrorism as McCain would like to make us believe.


So in the cradle of capitalism people can choose between two candidates: a conservative and a very conservative candidate. You can choose more brands of peanut butter, not only in the US but even here in the Netherlands.


OK, it is the system, I know, and this system has not changed in the last 200 years and will certainly not change in the next few years. And this voting system might be the best system to get the people back to the voting booth. People can identify with two candidates of flesh and blood. This has the same fascination as Big Brother and the Idols series on TV; once you get to know the people involved you want to know how it all ends and who will win.


But can we put the whole burden of realizing change on the shoulders of one person ? Are we so desperate or is his power that enormous that he can change a whole nation with his motivational talks ? Time for change.


Will Obama fix it ? He might. There is only one who can certainly fix it: YES, HE CAN :

METROPOLIS

Big cities have always fascinated me. Busy, interesting, cultural, dynamic, colourful, bright lights. That's were it is all happening. As a kid I could picture myself enjoying the big life. Every once in a while I get the urge to pack my suitcases and leave the straitjacket of daily life. To get myself in that mood I listed my 10 personal favorites at this moment:

1. London

Visited more than 10 times and still my favourite. Cool and warm. Funky modern and stylish old. Rainy but never dull.

2. Stockholm

The modern and laid-back capital of Sweden. Beautifully located. On a nice summer day the whole city is out and about; the sky is blue and the water is blue and the days are long

3. Rome

The eternal city. Stylish and impressive. The charm of Italian chaos and the enormous St. Peter.

4. Moscow

Now for something completely different. Colossal buildings

and golden domes. The red star of communism has disappeared; the star of capitalism shines brightly. Fascinating and political.

5. Copenhagen

Bit like home. Cosy, funny and friendly. Mix between Paris and Amsterdam. Great design and cool atmosphere.

6. New York

Everything is big here. Look up and see the skyscrapers. Every culture has his own quarter. Indeed never asleep. Great museums.

7. Florence

One big tourist area. Nowhere so much so close together. Overwhelming. Tuscan hills within walking distance from city center. Michelangelo and Medici.

8. Jerusalem

All the tension in the world packed into one city. Hat on / hat off, shoes on / shoes off, shorts and long trousers. Politically and religiously impressive. Read the bible first (and then forget about it afterwards).

9. Paris

Should be on the list. Home of the arts and fashion. So near that we sometimes forget about it. City of lights and the city of wine. Test your knowledge of the arts here.

10. The Hague

My home town though not my birthplace. Small but ambitious. International but also provincial. Only town on this list with its own beach.

The Hague out of place on this list ? Just a little ...