ENJOY LIFE

Today I took the decision to enjoy life more. Stupid I have to take such a decision because enjoying life should come naturally. But ... this is modern life and modern life is not about enjoying; it is quick, shallow and participating in a rat race. I stepped out of the rat race a few years ago, but I am still not able to enjoy my day. Too worried what is still coming, what is happening today or even what has been in the past. Why ? Worrying does not make it easier and you do not get fantastic ideas all of a sudden - your mind turns and turns more quickly, until you get totally stressed out.

Someone said to me today that I should enjoy life more. She was right, but how to do that ? I am used to do useful things that have value and meaning (at least to me) and not necessarily are fun. OK; let's look at the things I used to like when I was a kid. First problem: already as a kid I was not really me - always doing what was expected of me and adapting to the situation. That does not help. I do not want to go back to that period, so something else has to be the reference.

Then I thought: "why not take my weblog as the reference ?" - what I write about touches my heart and are important to me. These things come easy to me and I enjoy doing them.

For example going to art exhibitions I like to do regularly - I do not like everything I see, but everytime I see something different and it tickles your imagination.

Or reading a book; often I have my best thoughts on things when I am reading a book (usually it has nothing to do with the content of the book, but pop up in a relaxed mind).

Or listening to music; as you noticed I am a fan of mellow, electronic music which is ideal for creating a relaxed mood - or classical music.

Or going to the gym, which is not difficult for me because it makes my negative thoughts go away and I feel rejuvenated after the turkish steam baths.

Or travel; I really like to travel but due to my limited finances I postpone it all the time - maybe I should simply do it and not linger any longer. I often bring back some design items from my city trips. My last real city trip dates back to April 2007 and went to Tallinn and Helsinki. Especially Finland is famous for design and it was a joy to visit the design shops with numerous ingenious items or known items in new forms or colours. I could look around for hours. On the picture my reindeer made of thin sheets of wood squeezed out of a postcard. It is standing on my TV and it is the only thing that is allowed to be up there; may be not my most beautiful thing but I grew very fond of it.

Or trying something new: this week I tried aikido and next week I'll try bikram yoga with some friends. We do not know what we are getting into, but it will be hot without a doubt.

Or going to the theatre; I enjoy going to the theatre on a regular basis - I am doing that already; next Sunday the next play.

Or going out to a restaurant, which is one of my favourite hobbies; once a week is no exception - that is also my financial limit.

Actually I am doing a lot of the things I like. I could add some new things though: may be a trip, find myself a boy-friend or write a book (one of my secret wishes). The main thing that keeps me from enjoying life is the worrying. Fear is such a horrible thing, especially when you do not know what you are afraid for. Kill the fear and half the battle is won.